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Taking Solipsism Seriously -- Albert A. Johnstone
US Copyright. Not easily available in the United Kingdom of Northern Ireland and Great Britain. The detailed philosophy of solipsism is a parasitical poison which may infect those who study.

=========
Isolation
=========

He’d known success
now knew failure
(and was the world to blame
or his the fatal flaws?)
Impaled by shards of memory
transfixed by cork comparisons
soft framed by lacking life
with colors bleached through sun.
And yet he was no specimen
a life not having died.


===================
Affective variation
===================

there are some days i fail to meet the mark
and like a dull reflection in a pewter dish
i ape and imitate
never to initiate
and conversation’s interplay
nears monologue through me
as i stumble for a ‘yes’ or ‘no’
and offer platitudes.

There are some days i fail to cut the grade
and when i talk of ‘grade’ and ‘mark’
i talk of Psyche preened and sleek
beguiling some but mostly me
i do not talk of social climbing
or of etiquette and grace
i just compare myself to how i am
when things go right.

but who am i to say i pass or fail
when they are asked (and i’ve asked)
those with whom i interact
report scant difference
between state (a) and state (b)
– perhaps it’s but subjective mood
that alternates between gradations –
though makes me feel that i am all or nothing.

==========
Transience
==========
Albeit lasts three score years and ten
(everlasting life shelved with God)
what mark’s made by most people?
What left in perpetuity?
A house – if mortgage has been paid –
though this and savings too may have been swallowed
by expensive care – money? property?
A family, friends acquaintances – memory?
A genetic trace diluting over years?
A stone in a yard of stones?
 
Albeit lasts three score years and ten
(everlasting life shelved with God)
it’s a waking dream – it is –
lacking all permanency
– you brag while your sun is ascendent
fret as it lowers in the sky
with night ushering in the end of this illusion
demarcated by birth and death –
and who knows i won’t wake
before this flitting dream’s out?


===========
The seminar
===========
This evening class, the first of ten,
each one at weekly intervals
with fifteen students in the group
– first exercise to break the ice
each one would introduce themselves
– and too our student talked to two or three –
so there were some and some in part
that she could tell apart.
And when she left that evening
did her mind pay mind
to fourteen new souls
whose acquaintance she had made?
And did she think throughout that week
of what and where they each might be
and how they faired in work and play
and if or not they found their way?
To pay such mind as this
requires a certain kind of flair
and though there may be one or two
within our student’s group as such
the larger part will lack that spark
and fail to pay persistent mind
to fleeting views of other folk
– and who was she? who was that bloke?
The most for most adopt a standard view
(and whether they admit the thing or not)
of fourteen souls that they have met
until next week when they are met again
the larger part as well might not exist:
that is to say (as plain and straight can be)
that whilst they’re not perceived
there’s some who’s being’s not believed.



====================
The fleeting glimpse
====================
The seed becomes a shoot,
the shoot matures – grows to a tree,
the tree reveals both leaf and bud,
the bud will blossom, then,
through beauty’s pride
will bear rich fruit – the apple bright
whose worth is more
in that it holds the seed –
so with the world of mind
where self is orchard grove
but self is granted but a fleeting glimpse
both of the fruit and of the bloom
and from this glance can only hope
convey such thoughts to other minds.
But when it catches sight
of its reflective powers
the mind’s in-turned insight
unfolds seconds into hours,
grand subjective worth
sometimes exceeds the earth.
All know this flash of clarity
– i call this vision –
this is yours to keep
a private thing
– a fleeting glimpse of apple bloom
– a shared beauty in a world of gloom.
 
 
==================
Subjective reality
==================
Laid low in ’65
– a tax was shared –
they saved his life
and free at point of care
– Just thirty years before
but few could dream
to dream the dream
of such a thing
– The N.H.S.
the thought of it
has changed the world
of many many folk
– Just thirty years before
the world we know
was far from real
back then was in the mind
– It could be said
the real was then imaginary
imaginary was real –
and think three times to make it true
 
 
=======
Process
=======
do my senses fail?
do you apprehend?
which part more apprehension?
 
does the actual flail?
does my mind descend?
which part more initiation?
 
do i tell a tale?
do you comprehend?
which part more communication?
 
 
==============
My solipsismal
==============
Is my solipsism half baked?
I might accept both you and me –
but in the way American
and European existed
in fourteen hundred ninety one
– perhaps there’s self and others too
although restricted by one bind –
there’s no Columbus of the mind.
And we are all community
as far as shared environment –
a greater link is hard to find
(excepting those which wrench apart)
for love nor money (which divide)
or love of god (dividing more) –
however much you laugh or moan
the mind is nothing but alone.
And when fool me i try to speak
i substitute a word for thought
and through this process of exchange
i lose precision in what’s meant
– and language will monopolise –
though i begin to think in words
(and this is only feelings dressed)
subjective depth can’t be expressed.
To write in verse can bridge this gap
(or send a signal through the void)
permit the mind to interact
in ways denied by other means
– my thoughts my thesis plain and true
– your mind antithesis – you’re you –
considered words are what verse is
a step towards a synthesis.
 
 
=============
Me and others
=============
Alone one afternoon
i found that i exclaimed
“i love my life.”
But this was false
a mere pretence.
Who did i try to tell?
And there might be
simplicity,
complexity
(or intermediacy)
explaining this or that aspect
or why and what i spoke.
And Freud or Jung
might think to find
a motivation clear –
a cause arising from
the urges and the drives
i thought i never had
– i don’t concur – but see
some things complex in me
and some simplicity
that forms a depth of superficiality,
but then to think that this
applies as well to you:
it adds thirteen dimensions more
to social interaction – makes a chore
of what would seem an easy task
when out of reach of analysing grasp
– and as to other’s motivation
– i don’t guess –
i’d find myself with more that’s less.
 
 
=========
Her death
=========
 
And when his love she died
he barely felt the prick of grief
infected though he was
with well on well of tears –
submerged it found no outlet
(others saw but he was blind)
until he often prayed for her in church
and thus aligned his broken heart and mind.
 
And then he saw in light of day
the reasons that he prayed
the debt of gratitude he owed to her
the elegance she was –
the mystéry why such a light
would shed her grace
on such a fool as him
(fool him and his disgrace).
 
And in the years before he came to church
he lived with heart and mind at odds
and thus his head a dodgem car
which bounced at all contact –
and all the while grief lay submerged
a grief he couldn’t tell
not least because he felt the ebb
but couldn’t see the well.
 
And when he talked of anything
communication failed
in speaking of her death
or just what passed today –
and thus it was her death
shook all (both branch and root)
although he tried to hear and speak
he may as well have been deaf mute.
 
 
====
E.D.
====
There is a woman – neither agèd nor young
who puts her thoughts in verse when time permits –
she does not write to strut and fret
her work – upon the stage –
she writes her verse to Write her verse
– the task – fulfils itself
She does not think her thoughts
have legs to Last an age
– but does enjoy
what’s written on the page
She may Desire applause
but listens to – her Reasoned mind
– which states that One – or Two will do
and very different then – to showing more
Her verse explores some Thought
with insight’s craft
and satisfies – a lust to know
– and Teaches her
those things she has – to Teach
 
 
=============
Consideration
=============
shall we initiate once more –
me and one of many many is[1]
whose shades of grey and colour differentiate
the way a mother tells her twins apart
the way that two can never be the same
except computer’s bytes and bits?
shall we initiate again
with the city purring like a feline that’s half sate
– shall we place ourselves upon its plate
and risk again that which we have of late
that is to be a morsel to an appetite
that is to jeopardise our fragile state?
and when i say initiate
i mean go out and face the world
and taking me and one of many is[1]
– interact –
aspects of me and it
– and though the city is the smaller part
it rubs against the me and i
like a cow scratching on a wooden fence
– depending on the i that ventures forth
self-assurance buoys or sinks.
 
[1] is – plural of i or I – pronounced eyes.
 
 
====================
Bounds of experience
====================
i gazed upon a blade of grass
and saw the world unfold –
i saw a line of symmetry
dividing left and right
and down that line was strength
where if i stripped i knew
the shear would never cross
and only run with it –
i saw a leaf
designed to catch the sun
a living thing with chlorophyll
the molecule that’s powered all our cars
this part of our environment
this little cog in great machine –
and then i saw myself unfold
i saw a unity and whole
a present and a past
a future grown from these
and what is more i saw a life
a purpose and a will.
i saw the world unfold – the world
and cannot start to tell
the breadth and depth of what i saw
because its nuance just defies
the clumsy tool that language is
(a second’s thought might take a year to tell)
– so my experience will stay with me
untold or partly aired
because in all complexity
such knowns are poorly shared.
 
 
============
An advantage
============
For me the theme was sensitive
(close to my heart)
and i explained
as best i could
that troubled time:
he brushed aside
the dearest thoughts with jest.
And were i not a solipsist
in this (a slight)
(or in the good and grand)
i’d see a motivation clear:
attributing
a reasoned drive
to actions foul or fair.
And as i am a solipsist
i just ignore
(though some might say forgive)
and do not isolate myself
through having standards
higher
than well fit.
 
 
==========
Affliction
==========
as tragedy had struck and struck again
he had not lost the will to live
but lost the will to dream
– and when he found himself
one treading through the best of streets
he would not dare aspire
to live in such a house as those
because he knew that such a thought
would bring disillusionment
– and when he walked by shop displays
he would not gaze
because he knew were he to stare
he’d then compare
and this would sharpen want
– and through this paucity of wish
this strangling of desire
he knew a life devoid of jealousies
and was untouched by envy’s sting
although the price he paid would seem too high
 
 
======
A tale
======
 
The polystyrene aeroplanes
they came in paper packs
different colours
different models
assembled then to fly
– it was a gusty day
and in the yard at break
my model plane was blown
both out of sight and reach
and i was sad as children are
– my friend he smiled
and such a smile
as heartened me
and brought a unison of minds
mine lifted by
his lifting mine
– then from his bag
a new replacement plane
and showed the smile
had meaning that was true
and that he understood.
The sentimental man had told his tale
to those he’d known for years
assembled round the bar.
The academic yawned –
our story teller
knew he wasn’t tired
to yawn he only meant
that he was breathing still.
His friend the lawyer sipped his pint –
the man who told the tale
might search for meaning here
as well as Gipsy Lee
might search in dregs of tea.
The postman smiled –
a smile that signified
no unison of minds
and showed that though he’d heard
they lacked a common ground.
 
 
===========
A solipsism
===========
 
velleity’s attention focused on myself
without illumination’s aid
it tries to fix on flitting shadows
each as insubstantial as its motives
this dream of shifting greys
overshadowed externals
– i was alone.
a thought produced another thought
a tangent to a third
evokes comparison to fourth
which leads by parallel to fifth
and then a jump to sixth
association moves to seventh
– the steps can’t be retracted –
confused by such a straight complexity
– i was alone.
where is my certainty?
i am – although i lack a soul
i’m scared before eternity
and in this bind
– company –
imparts a meaning
– myself is others –
although
i am alone.
 
 
=========================
A mirror – held up to him
=========================
 
To say this man possesses
– humanity –
denies the word meaning –
the class becomes boundless
without common characteristics
including the serpentine –
instance (a) and instance (b)
so dissimilar you may as well
be grouping the ice and the hearth.
 
And his inhumanity is so marked
that any who knew this man and his ways
would straight deny him his race –
a callousness that makes cruélty seem kind,
a love of law when twisted to a perverted force
that would make Draco seem a fair paternal guide,
strands of manipulation fit, not for The Prince,
but for Stalin and his show trials
– this man is monster (although writ small).
 
It might be implied from what i’ve said
that we deal with a calculating mind
– deliberate in offence –
but a mind that clever would have to be stupid
not to pretend the slightest hint of compassion –
the gains from showing leniency occasionally
pretending to subscribe to a form of morality
that wasn’t wholly dependent on self
– these faults are no conscious effort.
 
This mind is not calculating –
it is blinkered with small task in view
this mind has abnegated its humanity
it is an automaton driven by self-interest
(denying others beyond even the solipsist herself
who may be able to recognise others
as valid figments of her imagination)
his mind cannot engage, it is set fast,
through sclerosis ceasing to exist.
 

© 2011 Mr L S Robinson